Body image and celebrity magazines...

The other day, I was reading my magazine and came across an article regarding a well-known actress who is now apparently 9 stone and a size 10... yet the photos shown of her were easily a size 12/14 and she looked like she weighed 2 stone more than me, not less. It got me thinking, do magazines always tell the truth about weight?

We're often told about celebrities who have 'ballooned' up to 10 stone. I would love to shrink down to 10 stone. They moan about being unhealthy at a size 12 and yearn for the day that they were 8 stone again. Now, maybe I'm a medical marvel but, I find it very hard to believe that anybody could be enormous when they weigh 10 stone. Unless, of course, they were 4 feet tall.

Kerry Katona, at least, is one of the few honest celebrities [about weight] out there. Many magazines reported that, at her heaviest, she was 10.5 stone. She spoke out and said that her true weight was nearer to 14 and has since slimmed down to a toned size 8-10.

(Kerry at 14 stone and a size 12/14)

(Kerry now, a size 8-10)

Refreshing, I'm sure you'll agree.

So why do magazines continue to tell us, impressionable women, that 10 stone is enormous and a size 12 is obese. It's not. Marilyn Monroe, one of the sexiest film stars ever, was a size 12 (not a 16, sorry ladies - that's all hearsay) 

(Marilyn Monroe was a sex goddess, at a UK size 12)

So, why is it that we celebrate Marilyn as a goddess, but yet we see a size 12 as obese now?

I would like to think that I'm not that impressionable and have a mind of my own. Yet, this blog says otherwise. I see myself, as a size 10-12, as large.

Nevertheless, I'm still dieting. I'm a woman, I probably always will. I don't want to be a size 8 anymore, I don't think it's possible without me making myself ill. But, a nice, small size 10 will make me the happiest girl in the world. Or will it? By the time I reach a perfect 10, more magazines will probably highlight how that's enormous. It's just the way we work, it's what sells magazines. 

I am a little bit in love with Frankie Sandford from the Saturdays. I even had the same haircut. I thought she was the most beautiful girl with an amazing figure. Yet, my boyfriend disagrees. He'd much rather have some alone time with Holly Willoughby (who, ironically is a 'proud size 12')

Looking at these photos, I'd be inclined to agree. Sorry, Fankie.

 (Frankie Sandford is an idol to many women and young girls)

(Is Holly Willoughby our modern-day answer to Marilyn Monroe?)

Feel free to comment - how much do celebrity magazines influence you? Do you believe the weights that are reported?

Week 2 weigh-in

-2lb.

Not exactly ground-breaking, but we're heading in the right direction.

Back in action...

Ok so I've slacked with the blogging. Sorry about that.


As it stands, I'm still 4lb lighter than when I first started - but I've been up and down ever since. I've been diagnosed with a hormone imbalance that's causing problems with my moods (ok, technically it's depression... but I don't really want to go into that right now.) so it's time to well and truly kick myself up the bottom.

I'm off to see Claire again today, with just over 7 weeks until my holiday to go. I'd love to aim for 1.5 stone, but that's near impossible at the moment - so let's say 2lb a week, that would be nice.

I'd lost 6lb up until this weekend, and then a fairly boozy weekend and fish and chips at the seaside didn't help. 2lb on. Woops.

Luckilly, I know now that the diet I am on is right. It does work. Protein is key, carb is the enemy etc.

To quote my favourite, The Only Way Is Essex; "No carbs before Marbs." - except by Marbs, I mean Egypt.

We fly on the 7th of June, which is also my 18th birthday. Or similar. Let's stick with 18. By that time I'd like very much to weigh *cough* stone and 5lbs. So, a stone, maybe a tad more.

I have the house to myself for a couple of weeks, which will hopefully mean that I stick to it - as there will be no other temptation. Besides Easter. Oh no.

Mind you, I've not had chocolate in ages - so why start now??

So, my new rules are:

* No carbohydrates. Not even croutons on my salad. None, nada, zilch.

* Take 2x Hoodia tablets with every meal. Hoodia has saved my life - if you haven't tried it, you should. It's a natural appetite suppressant that Arabs use when crossing the desert. It comes from a cactus or something and it swells in your stomach to conquer hunger pangs. Mind you, it's not cheap - a month's supply is about £50. That's cheaper than a month's supply of crappy snacks though, eh?

* NO MORE WINE. Or sugary drinks. Or beer. Vodka and diet coke or g&t only from now on.

* No more cheese. Except the 15g on my salads - nothing. None.

* I now must weigh my protein. No more than 60g of chicken on my salad. And then my 15g of feta cheese. That's all. No sneaking in a chunk of chicken whilst making a salad.

* NO takeaways. No matter how drunk I get or how convinced I am that the kebab won't even exist the next day - NO. There are more calories in the average kebab than I allow my daily intake.

* Diet coke = win. It's my new snack.

* I will exercise. Since I was diagnosed with depression, I've decided it's the only way out. I've turned down the tablets for a bit, just to see if exercise works. Hopefully I'll be referred onto an exercise scheme as well.

So - there we have it.

I've also made myself a chart that I will fill in each week on the 7th day, tracking my weight. I'll try not to weigh myself in between times but you know what it's like!

Fingers crossed, wish me luck. Please keep pushing me - you lot have helped me so much.

Victoria xx

Oops. Remember me?

Sorry, I've been a pretty rubbish blogger recently haven't I?

Without going into too much detail - things have been a bit hectic recently.

The stress of that situation led to me eating like a pig. In fact, shamefully I found 2 Rocky Bar wrappers stashed in my drawer the other night - in case anyone saw them and pointed it out. How embarrassing.

Anyway, I'm back on track now. 1 x scrambled egg and 2 turkey rashers for breakfast, sometimes with toast, sometimes followed by an apple. Salad for lunch, again, the usual. Then salad or some sort of meat for tea.

It's dropping off again - I'm back to my lowest. I did go up to just 1lb under where I'd started. Hence not blogging for a while. Which, I know, totally defeats the point. I get it.

Anyway, please keep nudging me for blogs etc - it keeps me focussed.

See you soon xxx

Guest Blog: Claire Taylor (Claire Taylor Therapy)

Remember the fab lady Claire I told you about? She does exist, here is her side of the journey so far!

"Hi everyone.  The first thing to say here is that blogging isn't natural to a therapist – client confidentiality and all that.  But, as Vic is being so open about her journey, I’m very happy to contribute.

I think most people who know Vic would agree with me when I say that in no way does she look overweight. And I know many have passed that comment.  However, I congratulate her on recognising the fact that she has put weight on and has become unhappy with her body image at such an early stage. It’s all about how we feel inside isn't it?

Now, I appreciate there are the extremes, you know people who see themselves as fat when they are super skinny already and allowing that unrealistic body image to drive them to develop an eating disorder.  But how much happier would a large percentage of the population be if they'd taken action as quickly as Vic and just how incredible is it that she's achieved the weight loss she has so far??  I’m so proud of her.

I may be a clinically trained therapist, but it’s down to my clients to make the changes they require.

Session 1:

When I first met Vic and we went through her eating habits in detail, I have to admit it was such a healthy diet already I had my doubts how quickly we would see success.  It’s so much easier when a client's addicted to sugar!!!  But, by Vic exploring with me what the correct foods are to eat at each point in the day we managed to tweak her diet – and what a success that's proven to be.

I reinforced the messages we'd discussed, along with a few additional ones, using hypnosis.  (For anyone who doesn't understand hypnosis there's a really useful video on my website of me interviewing one of my clients. It really is me; I just decided to go brunette recently!)

Don't eat breakfast?

Now, Vic always eats breakfast but for any of you out there who don't here's a new way to look at it.  You wouldn't expect to get into a car with no petrol or oil in it, turn the key and drive around for hours would you?  It simply wouldn't run and you'd do a fair amount of damage to the engine just trying.  Right well, your body is your engine.  How do you expect it to get you through your day without the right type and amount of fuel in it???  It’s going to cause you problems.

Session 2:

On our second session it came to light that Vic was having problems giving herself positive affirmations about her body image. Using such affirmations can make all the difference to any goal you wish to achieve in life but I won't go into that here.  Gradually, as we were discussing this, Vic opened up to me about 2010, and just how many traumatic incidents she had gone through. No wonder this girl is finding it difficult; she has had SO much to deal with, and on top of that her nature is to support everyone else through such times (including her guinea pigs), and her job is to support and promote her clients. When does she look after herself???

So rather than hypnotherapy, we used CBT during the session. Put very simply; this is about changing the way you think and realising that no one else and nothing else can make you think or feel any differently to how you want to think and feel.  It’s all about stopping those negative and unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with the positive.  Had we had more time I would have used hypnosis to again reinforce all the messages we discussed, but we simply talked our way through the session.

Progress:

Today I hear Vic's lost over 5lbs in weight in just over a week.  I'll let you into a secret too; she's eaten a slice or two of pizza and a mini bag of chocolate buttons. Not to mention her love for gin and slimline! The right, long-term approach to weight loss can really pay dividends!

Victoria is living proof!

www.claire-taylor-therapy.co.uk

You can follow Claire on Twitter: @claireonthewww

-5.5lb. Size 10 jeans are "comfy" and Claire is ace...

Woohoo. 7 days in and I'm 5.5lb lighter.

I might celebrate with a pie.... OK OK I WON'T!

Anyway, I wanted to use this post to Claire Taylor who has, in just a week, changed my life.


Claire is a qualified Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist and Life Coach. She is taking me through a course of Clinical Hypnotherapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to help me achieve my goals. 


Her technique is clear, concise and personal - she's made me think about things that I had put to the back of my mind; from severe personal grief to worrying about my pet guinea pigs (yep, really!) and it's really changed how I look at things.


Claire is based at the Abbeydale Tennis Centre in Sheffield South and works with individuals or companies - have a look at her website for more information.


Claire is also going to guest-blog on this site to give you a bit more of an insight into what we've done so far.

Tuesday

Woohoo, I'm 2lb lighter than yesterday morning! No point in a food diary - it'll be the same as yesterday. Oh and I had salad for tea, same as lunch but with less chicken.

Ta ta for now xxx

A new week - a new me?

Ok so here goes.

Why do we always decide to kick ourselves up the arse on a Monday? Monday's are shite anyway, why make it worse? Either way, here goes.

Breakfast: 1 large glass of water, 1 slice of toast, 1 scrambled egg.

Snack: 1 Apple. A Pink Lady none-the-less.

Lunch: 1 salad consisting of - 1/3 of an orange pepper, 1/3 of a red pepper, a handful of baby spinach, 1 sliced beetroot, 2/3 chicken breast, 5 1cm cubes of feta cheese, 1 stick of celery, 1 water biscuit for crunch.

Snack:

Tea:

New love, tonsils, networking and flu...

Around the beginning of 2010, I started chatting to a rather nice chap on Twitter. I believe that one of my comments to him was "Ooh, your username is also 1867 - we should get married."

Anyway, when Adam and I first got together, I was still a 12. My legs were dimply and my chin(s) were rather large. Still, the poor sod ended up going out with me. Fatty or not - he wasn't bothered. All together now; ahh.

I also got heavily involved with 4networking - which meant a lot of breakfasts. Sure, there's a continental option - but we've discussed this; I'm a pig. A couple of breakfasts per week didn't help. Oops.

However, 4N did introduce me to Darren Crookes - the king of Herbalife. It was the middle of the year and I had 2 weeks before the Leeds Festival. My size 12s were tight again and I was struggling to come to terms with the thought of flashing any flesh during my trip. I took Herbalife for a week and lost 8lb. Woohoo. In reality, it didn't stay off and I'd pretty much put it all back on by the time I went in hospital for my tonsils out 3 weeks later.

Ah, my tonsillectomy... possibly the worst month of my life.

I'd always suffered with my tonsils; I could literally stub my toe and I'd get a throat infection - it was ridiculous. I was also allergic to penicillin. Joys. Eventually, after 22 years of complaining (and 10 infections that year) I was admitted to Chesterfield Hospital for DAY SURGERY (yes, really) to have them removed, under general aneasthetic.

Needless to say, the whole thing went tits up. I ended up having major palpitations and left the hospital (yep, they still sent me home) about 6 hours later than I should have been going. For the next 3 weeks, not one piece of food passed my lips and I probably drank a litre or so of water during the whole time. One morning, the infection had gotten so bad that I was sent back to the hospital as I literally couldn't move.

Guess what they gave me?

WOOHOO. Penicillin.

One more week of being ill.

A true joy when you're self employed, let me tell you.

Over the month, I lost 16lb. I suppose it was worth it.

Not only that, my stomach shrunk due to the lack of action it had received (see my Slimming World blog) and I managed to keep off 15lb of the 16lb I had lost.

Of course, in the run up to Xmas, I put weight back on. Probably about half a stone. I was still in my size 10s, sometimes a 12 (damn you Zara and your teeny tiny sizes - God Bless you Tesco and Dorothy Perkins)

Don't worry - it's nearly over.

Just before Xmas, (the Wednesday before) I got the flu. I can now honestly say that I have never EVER had flu before, despite probably saying it a bazillion times. I was actually pretty chuffed that I'd had my tonsils out - if not, the infection would have definitely hit my throat and I'd have ended up on a drip in hospital on Xmas day.

Instead, I spent the festivities in my own bed. Again, not touching a morsel of food or alcohol. I drank litre after litre of water and just about survived to NYE for a trip to the Big Smoke.

So, that pretty much brings me to here. I'm a 10 again, a 12 if I've been a pig the day before. But I'm not happy. And I won't be until I'm back to the confident size 8 I used to be.

By doing this blog, I've put it out there and I need all 860 odd of you to make me do it. If I tweet about eating shite, stop me. (Allow me my gin though, there are more calories in a breath of air ffs) I need your encouragement.

I am undergoing hypnotherapy from the lovely @ClaireOnTheWWW - who is amazing. After just a quick session to start me off I already feel motivated. I still had some pizza last night though, due to vodka. Sorry. I won't do it again. Especially after next Wednesday when I am hypnotised again.

I'm determined guys, I really am. And, when I do - I will do another Owlettes shoot. There, Neil, you have it in writing. I'm sure there's a way of raising money for charity out of that too. We shall see.

I'm sorry for rambling on, but there's no point in starting a blog at the place I am. No point at all. Now you know the background, the reasons etc.

Please don't tell me that I 'don't need to lose it' or that I'm promoting something wrong. I'm not, I just want to be happy and healthy again and I am going to do it in the right way. I'll probably try and do a food diary too - we shall see. Obviously I won't expect you to read those - you'd have more fun pulling off your fingernails whilst in a deep conversation with Katie Price.

So, let's go.

Roll on size 8.

Age: 22
Marital Status: Relationship
Job: Sole Trader
Boobs: 32F
Dress Size: 10/12
Confidence: 3/10

Football, living with boys and unemployment...

I'd only been at the fab agency for 2 months when I got a call from the Communications Manager of Sheffield Wednesday, the same day I was being interviewed and the day after I had been appointed to run Wednesday's PR and community campaign.

Oh em gee.

The hours got longer, the lunch breaks less frequent and the weight lower. The stress was sky-high and the 7 day working-weeks were starting to grind. 7 days is an exaggeration actually; I was usually done by 11am on Sunday.

Whilst at Wednesday, I got on so well with 2 of my colleagues that we decided to get a house together. Lots of office jokes ensued, including a bet with my superior that I would name a pet after him. (Welcome to Trevor, the female guinea pig)

Anyway, boys will be boys and we survived on a diet of beer, wine and Chicken Tonight. I shudder at the thought of the amount of salt that I consumed in those 8 months.

Also, I defy anybody to have their dream job taken away from them (I won't go into detail) not to binge-eat, drink and cry themselves to sleep.

It was then that I turned to my best friend Nigel, who is a total inspiration to me. Follow him on Twitter (@VootMobile) and chat to him - you'll soon see why. Not ignorant to feeling like his life was over thanks to SWFC, he sat me down and gave me a good telling off.

That night, I went self employed.

I decided to move home to save money (I dropped 5lb in the first week of 'Mum's cooking' diet) and I settled into building a business that I am very proud of.

Age: 21
Marital Status: Single..with a big crush :)
Job: Sole Trader
Boobs: 32F
Dress Size: 12
Confidence: 2/10

Rumours, ends and new beginnings...

Eventually, the events job drove me to go insane.

Really, like actually insane.

I am proud to say that I have left a job in true Hollywood-I QUIT-style. Winner.

So, no job, a bit of podge and an ever-increasing rumour mill surrounding my boyfriend. That was over by July. Considering I spent pretty much 24 hours a day with him for 3 years... I've seen him about three times since. Bonus.

Naturally, I was super duper unconfident.

Anyway, let's go back to January; I landed a fab job at GB Eye in Sheffield, taking full control of their marketing to independent customers. (They sold posters, I marketed them to smaller shops/websites) My confidence was much higher, maybe even a 5, as I was bloody good at my job. Poster sales were through the roof, I met some good friends and I was working at an ace company.

Unfortunately for my waistline, this company just so happened to be next door to the pub and a Tesco Express (mmmmm 650 calorie sandwiches) so, yet again, the size 12s were stretched to full pelt. To be fair, I was trying then. Genuinely trying. I bought salads, I drank water etc etc.

Oh and GB Eye has a vending machine. Bugger.

I then moved jobs to a PR Agency around the corner from GB. The hours were long and the staff were ace. One girl in particular was quite keen to shape-up, so we joined some local aerobics classes. My size 12s were loose. My size 10s were snug. I was happy. Woohoo etc.

Cue a call from my favourite football club...

Age: 20
Marital Status: Single
Job: PR Junior
Boobs: 32E
Dress Size: 12
Confidence: 4/10

Slimming World...

Coming back to the UK was a bit of a shocker. I'd not actually noticed my weight over there.

I'll never forget the look of shock on my best mate's face as I walked into the bar where I was meeting her on my return. To be fair, her best friend had just gone up 3 dress sizes in 3 months.

So, I let it sit around for a bit, gradually piling on more and more weight. By the age 19, I was a size 14. My 12s didn't even consider fitting me.

Time for action.

I ended up with some great jobs, I worked at a huge creative agency in Sheffield and then landed a role planning events for huge businesses.

However, both of those jobs involved sitting at a desk from 9-5. The weight didn't shift.

My Mum had to bring up the subject (which, of course, made her the biggest bitch in the entire world) of joining Slimming World. Eventually, I did, and I slowly saw the weight drop off. It wasn't easy, but a year later, I was a stone lighter and back in my 12s. Ahh.

Whilst Slimming World did work for me, it was bloody hard work. It also allowed you to eat "as much as you want" of certain foods. Not good for somebody who has a stomach-capacity the size of Africa. So, whilst I probably even got a sniff at my size 10s, as soon as I fell off the wagon - that space could easily be filled with cake.


Age: 19
Marital Status: Relationship
Job: Account Manager - events and hospitality
Boobs: 32E
Dress Size: 12
Confidence: 3/10

Hong Kong is not good for the waistline...

During those wonderful Owlette days, I met my 2nd boyfriend who had a huge impact on my life. Confidence wise, weight wise, life wise etc.

So, there I was, in the full throws of modelling, when I was introducded to a boy who "would be absolutely perfect for" me. We'd actually known of eachother for a few years, we lived about 5 minutes from eachother and we had a lot of the same friends.

He was an apprentice footballer and we absolutely hated eachother on the first night we met. He thought he was David Beckham, I still thought that I was Katie Price - it took a long time to work. Eventually, the egos were dropped and we actually got on really well.

About 6 months into our official relationship, he was offered a contract in Hong Kong playing for their biggest club. I was working in marketing and PR on about £8000 per year, working 50 hour weeks. It was hardly a huge decision.

That's where it all went hideously wrong.

Chinese food is actually not that unhealthy. It's nothing like the takeaways we get here. I once asked for Chow Mein and got laughed at. Oops. Anyway, my point is - had we lived on the local cuisine, I would have been Ok. It just so happened that my ex wouldn't touch anything Chinese so we ended up eating in "western" restaurants ALL the time. Couple that with me having no exercise (other than shopping) and I came back as a size 12/14. In 3 months.

Oh my God.


Age: 18
Marital Status: Relationship
Job: Eurgh, 'Wag'
Boobs: 32F
Dress Size: 12/14
Confidence: 1/10

from the beginning...

Before we begin - let me tell you now; I will never disclose how much I weigh. Soz.


You'll just have to guess.

Anyway, as it stands, I would like to lose at least a stone. Maybe one and a half.

Cue the usual "but you don't need to lose weight.." cries, I've heard them all before. The thing is, when you're smaller, like me, people presume that you're happy in your body. I am female - I will never be totally happy with my body.

Yes, my jeans are a size 10. But, I do own some 12s. This isn't too horrific, I know, but please listen to my story.

Let's start at year 6; I was always average height, slim and top of most of my classes. My Godsister was the bain of my life, she was tall, curvy and a B cup. Bless her, that Christmas she bought my my first bra. It was cream with little roses all over it. The size? 30AAA. Yet, it still was baggy.

Fast forward to year 7 and I was short, a DD cup and not bothered about qualifications or lessons. Yes, I was a DD. My 2nd ever bra was a DD. How does that work? They literally appeared overnight - my Mum had to rush to Meadowhall and drop me a bra off at lunchtime. It was from BHS and lylac. I loved it. 32DD. Yes.

If they had offered qualifications in 'smoking, drinking, playing football and being popular' - I would have probably passed with flying colours, I'm sad to say that those subjects pretty much made my life. Actually, I probably shouldn't say that I'm sad to say that... I had a bloody good time.

I literally ate whatever I wanted and my exercise programme consisted of skiving P.E. Actually, that was more work than actually going to the lessons.

Anyway, as we moved onto year 10/11, I had pretty much given up all of that. I was a hardcore rocker whose days consisted of actually going to class (er, even P.E - which I chose as a GCSE option?) learning how to play guitar, chasing boys in bands and rocking out at The Corporation nightclub (mmm, classy.) Still, my jeans were a size 8 (although you could have fit 2 of me in each leg) and my boobs were still a 32DD.

Cue one horrendous relationship, one modelling job and a wallet full of money.

It was around this time that I applied for the role of an 'Owlette', a tongue-in-cheek website featuring girls in Wednesday shirts. Neil, the owner of the site (who I adore, the man changed my entire life) invited me along to a photoshoot (with my Mum, as I was about 17) and I suddenly realised that I was hiding behind hoodies, tent-trousers and skater shoes. I was actually teeny and, with the right lighting, quite attractive.

Eventually, modelling for Neil and his Owlettes website gave me the confidence to chuck the horrendous ex. (I almost feel harsh for calling him that, but believe me, he was. We get on OK now. OK, not great.) From then on, I was thrown into a dream world. I was getting wads of cash to totter around in a pretty dress, sell raffle tickets and hang around footballers at my favourite club. Brilliant. In fact, my friend and I used to get free drinks and entry at our favourite nightclub just to BE there. How does that work?

I admit, I probably turned into a bit of a twat. If you knew the shite I had gone through in the previous relationship, you'd probably be more understanding. On the plus side, I will hold my hands up and say that I was probably a bit of a nob back then, sorry if you knew me.

On the other hand, that time made me who I am today. As I said, Neil changed my life. Without him, I'd probably still be with the ex, living in some crappy council flat, working in the same electrical shop, drinking 20 cups of tea (yeah, really) a day and smoking 20 'fags'. Eurgh. So, in a way, again - I don't regret a thing.




Age: 18
Marital Status: Gladly single
Job: Model/Student
Boobs: 32DD
Dress Size: 8
Confidence: 7/10
Twatability: 10/10