from the beginning...

Before we begin - let me tell you now; I will never disclose how much I weigh. Soz.


You'll just have to guess.

Anyway, as it stands, I would like to lose at least a stone. Maybe one and a half.

Cue the usual "but you don't need to lose weight.." cries, I've heard them all before. The thing is, when you're smaller, like me, people presume that you're happy in your body. I am female - I will never be totally happy with my body.

Yes, my jeans are a size 10. But, I do own some 12s. This isn't too horrific, I know, but please listen to my story.

Let's start at year 6; I was always average height, slim and top of most of my classes. My Godsister was the bain of my life, she was tall, curvy and a B cup. Bless her, that Christmas she bought my my first bra. It was cream with little roses all over it. The size? 30AAA. Yet, it still was baggy.

Fast forward to year 7 and I was short, a DD cup and not bothered about qualifications or lessons. Yes, I was a DD. My 2nd ever bra was a DD. How does that work? They literally appeared overnight - my Mum had to rush to Meadowhall and drop me a bra off at lunchtime. It was from BHS and lylac. I loved it. 32DD. Yes.

If they had offered qualifications in 'smoking, drinking, playing football and being popular' - I would have probably passed with flying colours, I'm sad to say that those subjects pretty much made my life. Actually, I probably shouldn't say that I'm sad to say that... I had a bloody good time.

I literally ate whatever I wanted and my exercise programme consisted of skiving P.E. Actually, that was more work than actually going to the lessons.

Anyway, as we moved onto year 10/11, I had pretty much given up all of that. I was a hardcore rocker whose days consisted of actually going to class (er, even P.E - which I chose as a GCSE option?) learning how to play guitar, chasing boys in bands and rocking out at The Corporation nightclub (mmm, classy.) Still, my jeans were a size 8 (although you could have fit 2 of me in each leg) and my boobs were still a 32DD.

Cue one horrendous relationship, one modelling job and a wallet full of money.

It was around this time that I applied for the role of an 'Owlette', a tongue-in-cheek website featuring girls in Wednesday shirts. Neil, the owner of the site (who I adore, the man changed my entire life) invited me along to a photoshoot (with my Mum, as I was about 17) and I suddenly realised that I was hiding behind hoodies, tent-trousers and skater shoes. I was actually teeny and, with the right lighting, quite attractive.

Eventually, modelling for Neil and his Owlettes website gave me the confidence to chuck the horrendous ex. (I almost feel harsh for calling him that, but believe me, he was. We get on OK now. OK, not great.) From then on, I was thrown into a dream world. I was getting wads of cash to totter around in a pretty dress, sell raffle tickets and hang around footballers at my favourite club. Brilliant. In fact, my friend and I used to get free drinks and entry at our favourite nightclub just to BE there. How does that work?

I admit, I probably turned into a bit of a twat. If you knew the shite I had gone through in the previous relationship, you'd probably be more understanding. On the plus side, I will hold my hands up and say that I was probably a bit of a nob back then, sorry if you knew me.

On the other hand, that time made me who I am today. As I said, Neil changed my life. Without him, I'd probably still be with the ex, living in some crappy council flat, working in the same electrical shop, drinking 20 cups of tea (yeah, really) a day and smoking 20 'fags'. Eurgh. So, in a way, again - I don't regret a thing.




Age: 18
Marital Status: Gladly single
Job: Model/Student
Boobs: 32DD
Dress Size: 8
Confidence: 7/10
Twatability: 10/10